


All Souls Day

by egret



Series: Rehabilitated [7]
Category: The Yards (1999)
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:28:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egret/pseuds/egret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willie and Leo at Halloween</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Souls Day

**Author's Note:**

> There is no actual rape or non-con in this fairly fluffy story, but one of the characters is a traumatized survivor of prison rape, so possibly triggering.

**Halloween - late afternoon**

 

Leo was considering punching out early. Willie was planning a whole evening of horror movies. Leo had spied orange and black frosted cupcakes in the refrigerator this morning. He'd actually stolen one to have with his breakfast coffee. The presence of bakery goods suggested one of Willie's elaborate dinners, and those usually led to excellent sex. He didn't know where Willie had gotten the idea that cooking led to sex -- Leo would have happily fucked him after ramen noodles too -- but there was no point doing himself out of the good food. 

When his cellphone buzzed that Willie was phoning, he expected it was shared impatience. He flipped open the phone and headed for the locker room. "I'll be home soon, baby."

"Don't bother," Willie croaked.

Leo stopped walking. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sick. I called to tell you. So you can make other plans. Pat called here earlier."

"What's wrong?"

"I told you, I'm sick."

"Yeah, what are you sick with? What's the matter with you?"

"My stomach's fucked up. I puked a little. I think I ate too much candy."

"I'll come home and take care of you."

Willie whined, "No, Leo. I'm -- I'm just crappy and I'm goin' to bed. I don't need taking care of. I just need to drink some herbal tea and go to bed and rest. I'm sorry about movie night, though. Maybe over the weekend we can do it. You go out with Pat or whatever. Scare somebody for me."

"Are you sure? Cuz I don't got plans, Willie. I can come home."

"I'd feel bad you were home listening to me snore. Go out. I'll leave the chain off the door so you can get in if I'm sleeping."

"You're really sure?"

"For chrissakes, yes!"

"Alright. I hope you feel better. Call me if you need me."

"I will, but I swear I'm just goin' to sleep."

"OK, baby." Leo made a kissy noise. 

"Love you, bye." Willie hung up.

Leo stared at the phone. Willie hadn't made kissy noises back at him. He must really feel lousy. 

Leo finished mopping the east wing level two; there was no sense in quitting early now. Then he phoned Pat. "Boo, man. What are you doing tonight?"

"Leo! I thought you were staying home with your little monster."

"Don't start that. He's sick; he's crashing. But I'm fine. What are you doing?"

"Goin' in the city to the parade with Marilyn. Wanna come?"

"Yeah, OK. I like watchin' people."

"We're marching in it, Leo."

"Oh, I'm not marchin'. I got no costume."

"Fuck sake, Leo, dress up like an evil doctor -- steal some bandages and someone's stethoscope and come one."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! Marilyn's got facepaint; we'll decorate you. Hurry up though, we're leaving soon."

"Alright. Gimme half an hour."

 

 

Leo checked himself in the mirror in the lobby of Pat's building. He didn't look too bad in the borrowed lab coat and stethoscope, with his scrub pants and rubber gloves. He'd be fine with a little makeup. Maybe Marilyn would have some kind of jewelry to pin to the labcoat where the nameplate should be. Or Pat could think up a funny doctor name for him.

Pat was waiting by the door of their apartment when Leo got off the elevator. He gestured to Leo to be quiet. "Listen, we got a little situation, I hope it's not gonna be a problem. You look great, by the way."

Leo stared. Pat was wearing a honey colored sweatsuit with a tail sewn to the back. "What are you?"

"I'm gonna be Lassie when I get my white socks on my hands and my face painted and my blond wig."

"Who's Marilyn?"

"Timmy, of course." Pat looked at him like he was stupid.

Leo bit his tongue. No judging other people's relationships. "So what's the situation?"

Pat sighed. "Marilyn's friend called. She got dumped yesterday and she's depressed and Marilyn invited her along. So you're going as part of a foursome. But we told her you're gay, so she knows it's not a date. We're just a group. Well, Marilyn and I are on a date, but you're in a group. With Melissa."

Leo gave him a look. Pat had tried to fix him up with women for weeks after he'd gotten with Willie. Pat had thought it was a phase. They had finally had a fight about it and Pat had stopped. "You told her I'm gay?"

"She knows you're gay."

Leo shrugged. "Fine then. Is she weepy?"

"No. She's a trouper."

"Alright. Let's go paint my face."

"You bet."

They went inside and Pat gestured towards the living room. "The ladies are doing makeup in there."

The living room didn't seem like a natural makeup spot, but who was Leo to say. Marilyn was sitting in an armchair. There was no makeup in sight. Leo leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Hi Marilyn." He turned to the woman sitting on the sofa. She was dressed like a nurse with a very short skirt. She had beautiful long black curly hair. Half her face was covered with a surgical mask, but her green eyes were outlined in black and silver. Leo wondered why anyone would dump her. Maybe she was a bitch. He realized he was staring. "You must be Melissa." He held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Leo. My boyfriend's sick so I'm a last minute addition, or I'd have a better costume."

Melissa stood up. She was taller than Leo had expected. She whispered, "But now we match, doctor and nurse."

Leo smiled politely. "I wish I earned the doctor bucks instead of the orderly salary I actually have. You got a great costume. Where'd you get it?" He was surprised it wasn't sluttier, actually. "From a real nurse?" Melissa seemed to have a nice rack, but it was covered in crisp white fabric, and most of the costume shop nurse costumes were lowcut. Her costume was very short -- showing off shapely legs in white tights -- but not at all clingy. And she had sensible nurse shoes on her feet. In his peripheral vision, he saw Pat and Marilyn clutching each other's hands. Melissa's eyes filled with tears. Leo frowned. His chest ached suddenly. He knew those eyes. He knew those shoulders and the way they were slumping. "Baby?"

Willie-Melissa threw her arms around Leo's waist and pressed her face into his neck. "I'm not sick," she whimpered.

Leo hugged Willie tight and kissed his temple. "OK. Calm down." He looked at Pat, who was smirking. "Would you two mind giving us the room for a few minutes?"

"Is he throwing us out of our own living room?" Marilyn asked. She seemed to be laughing. "Those tights kill me."

"Come on, let's drink to our creation," Pat said. He led Marilyn out to the kitchen. 

Leo manoeuvered Willie back to the sofa, and sat next to him. "Whose idea was this?"

Willie shrugged. "Mine and Pat's."

"Can you take that mask off so I can see your face?" Willie slid his mask down around his neck. His lipstick had smeared a little, but his mouth was still luscious. Leo kissed it gently. "How do you feel?"

"Weird." Willie licked his lips. "It was mostly my idea. Pat thought up the nurse part. I was just gonna be a girl. But he said I had to be dressed up as something to be more convincing." He leaned against Leo. "I thought you'd recognize me right away."

"I wasn't expecting you. Pat told me all about Melissa in the hallway." Leo rubbed his spandex-wrapped thigh. "So you're not sick? That was just a trick?"

"A Halloween trick. I said it wasn't serious. I wasn't inconsiderate!"

"No, I know, that's OK. I'm not mad, Willie." 

Willie stared at his knees. "OK. I guess I'll change. We can go home and watch movies like we said." He didn't move. 

Leo took a deep breath. "Do you wanna go to the parade?"

"Go out in public like this?" Willie sounded shocked.

"It's Halloween. A lot of people will be dressed up. It's a whole parade of dressed up people." Leo watched Willie stare at his feet and the floor. If this was just a Halloween trick, why wasn't Willie laughing? "You can change if you want to, Willie. We could just go watch the parade. Or you can stay dressed up if you want. It's up to you. If you wanna go home instead, that's up to you too."

"I don't wanna be in a parade. I just wanted you to see me."

Leo had no idea why Willie was whispering. "OK. Well, you look really cute."

Willie looked up then, and made his sincere but fishlike "kiss me" face. Leo kissed him, and found himself grabbing a gratifyingly squishy breast. Willie pressed harder against him, and Leo slid his other hand down to grab at his firm spandex-covered ass. Willie broke off the kiss and whispered, "Pretend I'm, I dunno, something, and take me to their bathroom. Hurry."

Leo snorted, grabbed his hand, and led him to the bathroom, locking the door behind them. He turned to Willie, only to find him bent over the vanity with his tights down to his thighs. "Find something lubey and fuck me, papi. Fuck me hard."

"Alright, Melissa." Leo rubbed his ass. "You naughty nurse you." He rifled through the medicine cabinet. "I bet they got good lube in their bedroom."

"I don't wanna discuss it with them! Just find something!"

"Vaseline? Hand lotion? Moisturizer?"

"Vaseline, fine, whatever, just go."

"So impatient. Where is your ladylike need for foreplay?"

"You're such a cock tease."

Leo laughed and tugged Willie off the vanity. "C'mon. It'll be better on the floor, on that rug over there."

"It's gonna kill my knees!"

"Shhh. Melissa. C'mere." Leo took his pants off and sat down on the rug. He leaned against the bathtub and tugged Willie's tights further down. "These stretch enough for you to straddle me? C'mon, c'mere." He reached up under Willie's short dress to apply some vaseline. Willie had gone quiet and redfaced, but his dick was poking his dress out. Leo smeared more vaseline over himself and pulled his husband down into his lap. "C'mon baby. Put me inside you." It didn't work. Willie's knees were trapped by his tights. "Stand up a minute, sweetie. We're taking these off."

"No!"

"Shh. We'll put 'em back on after. It's OK." Leo unlaced the sensible nurse shoes. "Ain't you got no prettier shoes than these? Papa's gonna have to get his baby some new shoes." He tugged the tights down carefully. Willie's legs were smooth and hairless. Leo rubbed them gently then grabbed Willie's hands and pulled him down again. He was more than ready for him, and almost lost it when Willie pressed down on top of him, whimpering sweetly. They clung together for a minute. Leo held him tight and said, "You go when you're ready, sweetheart. Go how you want." Willie slid up and down on him slowly. Leo groaned. It was gorgeous. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. 

"Trick or treat," Willie whispered.

Leo giggled. "You're both." He gasped when Willie moved some more. Willie guided his hand to his hard-on and Leo pumped as best he could, but it was hard to concentrate with Willie moving on him, so hot and slick. After a few minutes his body took over and he started lunging, making Willie squeal. Leo slid further down till he was lying flat on the fluffy rug. He tried to brace his feet on the base of the toilet but all he managed to do was knock over the pink poodle with the toilet brush in it. Pat knocked at the door and shouted, "Are you two alright in there?"

Willie smirked and moaned loudly, "Oh papi!"

Leo panted loudly, "Baby! Melissa!"

Pat yelled, "Oh god!" and then they heard him yelling something at someone else. Leo thought they could stop making noises now but he found when he tried that he couldn't stop, that fucking Willie made him make those noises. Willie in his little white dress with his gorgeous hair flying around like angry blackbirds. Willie cried out suddenly and threw his head back, spurting onto Leo's chest. Leo stared up at him, transfixed. Willie opened his eyes then and stared down at him, then did something that felt caressing and tight, and Leo finished all of a sudden, losing track of something he'd been thinking that had felt important, some connection he'd almost seen. Willie slid off him and curled up on his side next to him on the floor. Leo held him close. After a minute he said, "You fucking rule."

Willie punched his ribs lightly. "No, you rule."

Leo laughed. "Do you want me to call you Melissa?"

Willie laughed and spoke in a falsetto. "I should hope you know my name now, mister!"

Leo sat up and looked down at him. "Do you need Marilyn to help you with the makeup?"

"A little, yeah." Willie's voice was normal again, maybe a little light or high or sweet. A little gayer sounding? 

Leo had a million questions he wanted to ask but he didn't want to spoil the mood. Starting with, since when did Willie like drag? He said, "Let's clean up and get these tights back on ya."

 

 

 

**2 AM**

 

Willie washed the last trace of makeup off his face. He still felt a little girlish. He looked at the costume crumpled on top of the towelrack and started to shake. It had been a weird night: marching in the parade, giggling and clinging to Leo's arm in front of everyone. He should have worn a wedding dress instead of a nurse outfit. Everyone clapped for everyone. No one was mean. There were tons of guys in dresses. There were even straight guys in dresses. Most of them weren't though. A drag queen in the bathroom had helped him fix his hair and called him "little girl." 

Leo had been the nicest of all though. He hadn't acted like it was weird or anything. Willie didn't understand now why he'd wanted it to be a trick. He shivered and pulled his bathrobe tightly around himself. He felt colder without body hair, which was kind of stupid but nevertheless true. "Leo!" he yelled down the hallway.

"Yeah?"

"I want cocoa!"

"Alright." There was the sound of Leo filling the kettle. 

Willie put on his slippers and headed out to the kitchen. Maybe it was colder because fall was turning into winter. He hugged Leo and stood with him in front of the warm stove. "Thanks for making it."

"No problem. Did you have a good time tonight?"

Willie nodded. He'd had a fantastic time. Leo had been like a handsome prince, except for pinching his ass mercilessly. "My ass got pinchmarks."

"I'm sorry, baby. It was so cute in that outfit. Want me to kiss it better?"

Willie snorted. "No. You liked it?"

"The outfit? I love your ass." Leo let go of him and poured water from the boiling kettle into their cocoa cups. They were quiet while Leo stirred the cocoa. The spoon sounded loud against the cups. Leo carried the cups over to the table and sat down. 

Willie lit a cigarette and sat down too. He wished Leo would say something one way or the other instead of being all neutral. He sipped his cocoa. "How come Pat was a fucking dog, but Marilyn didn't hardly dress up?"

"She did. She was Timmy. Didn't you see the freckles? Pat was Lassie."

Willie frowned. "I thought she was like a country person, or a scarecrow or something, but not too good. She's weird."

"You didn't get that Pat was Lassie?"

"I thought he was the cowardly lion and she was the scarecrow, but then where were the rest of them, Dorothy and them? I thought maybe people stood them up."

Leo shook his head. "No. Timmy and Lassie."

Willie watched him frowning. "What do you care, man?"

"She humiliates him."

Willie shrugged. "Maybe he likes it. He seems sweet on her."

"I'm sweet on you but I wouldn't be a dog for ya." Willie felt himself blushing. He would do it if Leo asked. Should he say that? Leo patted his hand suddenly. "What are we talking about them for anyway? Let's talk about us."

Willie looked up. "What?"

Leo looked thoughtful. "Was tonight your first time in drag ever?"

Willie frowned at his cocoa. He didn't know the right answer. "Yeah, with the whole outfit and everything, yeah." Leo didn't like him to talk about Diego. He'd sewn a little knit skirt out of a cut-up t-shirt. Diego had loved when he wore it, especially if he shaved his legs and put on lipstick and rouge that he made out of vaseline and watercolor paints. Diego never let anyone else touch him when he was dressed up. Sometimes he was even gentler himself. Leo had been all clingy and extra sweet to him too. But Leo was totally different from Diego, so that didn't make any sense. 

"I think you're overtired, sweetheart." Leo's voice seemed loud and close, and Willie jumped. "You're falling asleep at the table. Come on, let's go to bed."

 

Why won't he be a dog for me if I'll be a girl for him? It's not fair, Willie pondered. He tried to imagine Leo in the Lassie suit, but he just looked stupid. Anyway, he didn't want Leo to be uncomfortable. Leo was spooning around him. Willie tugged on his arm. "We're gonna need more closet space if I gotta have dresses. We'll have to move."

Leo rolled over on top of him, pinning him to the bed. "Stop. Whatever you're thinking, just stop. Go to sleep."

"I can't just ignore problems!" Willie whined.

Infuriatingly, Leo laughed. "You're excellent at ignoring problems, Willie. Anyway, we don't got problems. We had an excellent Halloween and you were very sexy. But now it's time to go to sleep. I shouldn't let you have cocoa so close to bedtime. The chocolate and sugar hype you up."

Willie squirmed loose and sat up, glaring. "Let me?! LET me!? You don't LET me -- I DECIDE! I TOLD YOU to MAKE ME cocoa!"

Leo sat up and put the light on. "Why are you screaming at me?"

"Cuz I'm NOT THE BITCH!"

Leo stared at him. "Where'd you put that dress?"

"You can't make me wear it!"

"Fuck that. I'm throwing it out. We are not going through this again. We have BEEN OVER THIS, Willie!"

"You're not throwing it out! You like it!"

"I don't like this! I don't like this at all! Stop blaming me for that shit!"

"You're the one who put me there!" Willie clapped his hands over his mouth, horrified. He bit his own stupid tongue. 

Leo was frozen, his mouth opening and closing. Then his face twisted to an expression Willie had never seen, a sick look, and then it went blank. He stood up and took his pillow and walked out of the room. 

 

 

Willie tried to think of a way to take it back, but there was no way to take it back. He thought all night. Hours later, he heard Leo get up and go to work. He didn't even come back into the bedroom for clean clothes. He didn't say goodbye or slam a door. There was just a quiet click and he was gone, and the apartment felt cold and horrible. 

 

Willie cried until noon, and even then he only got up to keep from pissing the bed. He guessed that meant he didn't want to die, if he could care about not pissing himself. He wandered out to the kitchen and made some coffee. Leo hadn't even had coffee this morning, or anything to eat. Why had he said that to Leo? It wasn't really Leo's fault. No more than it was anyone's fault. There was plenty of blame to go around. Frank was still inside. For the first time, Willie felt glad to think of Frank eating crappy food in a noisy prison cafeteria. Leo's pillow was on the sofa. Willie picked it up and hugged it, then brought it back to the bedroom. 

Willie's phone buzzed briefly. Leo had texted him. Willie's stomach turned over. He lit a cigarette and took a deep breath before flipping his phone open. "Evrything will B OK. GO TO YR SHRINK. Meet u after. <3"

Willie sat down and breathed for a minute. Everything will be OK. Why couldn't Leo just talk to him then? Probably so he couldn't say any more mean things. He'd totally forgotten about that appointment. He was tired of talking to her about crap it was better to forget about. But today was not a day to argue. Today he should be very submissive. He texted back: "OK C U thr REALLY sry abt last nite xoxoxxoxoxxoxox"

 

\- - - - -

Leo didn't hear any talking coming from the therapist's office. He wondered how that went. He wondered if Willie would do better with a male therapist to transfer onto. Not that he really transferred that much onto his. He'd cried this morning, in his squeezed-in emergency appointment. He hated crying. He didn't know what to do about Willie throwing the past in his face like that. He thought they'd forgiven each other for all that. And Willie hadn't left him too many choices at the time, what with framing him and trying to kill him. He really never thought about it now -- any of it. If it started to come up, he just reminded himself it wasn't worth going over it and thought about something else. That worked for him. 

Mike the therapist said that obviously it didn't work for Willie, and his trauma bubbled up more. Leo didn't see how anything about last night related to the bad old days. Maybe being submissive was a jail flashback, but then being submissive was Willie's preference -- Leo hadn't made him do it. The whole drag thing had been Willie's idea in the first place. Leo had checked with Pat at work today, and Pat confirmed that Willie had called him with the "let's surprise Leo" plan. Last night, it had seemed fun, even though Willie had gotten a little emotional at points, but Willie always got emotional, that's just how he was. Leo liked that about him. 

Mike always tried to put a positive spin on things. Today's positive spin was that Willie was acting out his negative emotions instead of bottling them up and becoming suicidal. Apparently being a little bitch was actually an act of trust and sharing. Leo's plan was to take his little bitch home, question him closely, spank his ass for creating such a ruckus, and then make love to him very thoroughly, by which point Willie should feel secure and happy, if Leo was any judge. Also, he was taking the nursing dress away along with any makeup he found around, and putting it in a locked cabinet with the knives. Willie could ask permission when he wanted to dress up, and then he'd be clear on whose desire that was. Not that he hadn't been absolutely adorable. Suddenly Leo felt pure hatred for everyone who had fucked Willie up and made all his happy things so hurtful for him. 

The office door opened and Willie peered anxiously out. Leo smiled and said, "Hi, sweetheart." Willie practically leaped across the room and into his lap, apparently oblivious to the other people in the waiting room. Leo hugged him tight and tried to soothe the apologetic babbling. "I know, I know, it's OK honey. I'm sorry too."

The therapist looked surprised. Leo pretended not to see her and led Willie outside. He hailed a taxi and bundled Willie into the cab. "We're going straight home now." Willie cuddled against him. Leo kissed his forehead. "How was therapy?"

Willie shrugged. "I was distracted about meeting you, so I didn't really pay attention."

"I told you I'd be there. Why were you distracted?"

Willie shrugged. "I just want it to be OK."

"It's gonna be OK, sweetie. Papa's gonna fix it."

"Good."

"You're gonna get a spanking."

"I know. I deserve it."

Leo smoothed his hair. "You deserve a lot of other things too, baby."

 

Willie ran upstairs while Leo paid the cabbie, who was ostentatiously not looking at him. Leo tipped less than he’d intended. He used to worry about shit like that -- what cabbies thought, what his family thought, what his friends thought. Now he just worried if Willie was OK and if they had a good life. 

 

Willie was naked facedown on the bed. Leo’s leather belt lay across his ass. Leo’s heart sank. He took the belt off Willie and draped his bathrobe over him. Then he sat down and stroked his hair gently. Willie sniffled. Leo spoke quietly. “I’m gonna spank you for treating me the way you did. But not right this second. I want to talk to you first. Can I get you something to drink?” Willie shook his head. “OK. I got water here if you get thirsty though. Do you feel like talking yet or do you need to rest a little while first?”

“I can talk, papi.”

“Alright, baby. I want you to kneel down in front of me while we talk, OK?” Willie nodded and crawled off the bed and onto the floor, where he knelt up in his usual spot on the thick pile throw rug. He looked nervous, but he put his hands behind his back and posed submissively. Leo thought he looked odd without body hair, odd and extra vulnerable. He draped the bathrobe over Willie’s shoulders. “Put your arms in, please.” Willie did, and Leo tied the robe loosely. “I want us to talk, but I don’t want you to be cold or uncomfortable. I want you to kneel so you remember you’re my submissive, ok baby? I know you can be brave and trust me and be honest with me. That’s how I’m gonna be with you, too. If you tell the truth, there are no wrong answers, OK? You won’t be punished for telling me the truth, I promise. I want to understand you better. That’s why we’re talking. No tricks. Do you believe me?”

“Si, papi.”

“Good boy. I’m gonna start with the most important question, OK?”

“Si, papi.”

“Do you love me, Willie?”

“Yes! Leo, I love you so much!”

Leo stroked his hair. “Good. I love you so much too. I consider you my husband. I wanna be with you forever. Do you consider me your husband, Willie?”

“Yes!”

“OK. So we’re married. We’re a solid couple?”

“Yes!”

“Alright. So we don’t need to have these panicky fights that make distance between us. I don’t like them. If you were upset about something, I would a million times rather listen to why you’re upset than listen to you make up something to be mad about. I think when you do that, you must not really trust me, since you make a big scene instead of confiding to your husband that something’s bothering you.” Willie stared at the floor, blushing. “Do you see what I mean, Willie?”

“Yes, but.” Willie’s mouth worked for a minute, but he seemed to be out of sound.

“But what, baby? What is it?”

“Some things you don’t wanna hear it.”

“What things?”

“If I talk about some things, you get upset.”

“What things, Willie?”

“Jail things. If I talk about things that happened in jail, you get mad.”

“Do I get mad at you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I don’t. I’m not mad at you for what happened in jail. I’m mad that it happened to you. It makes me want to kill the people who treated you so bad. Do you understand that?” Willie nodded. Leo rubbed his shoulder. “That’s why I got so mad what you said, that it was my fault. Do I ever say that to you? Do I ever say, it’s your fault I went to jail and my mother got sicker, and if that had never happened she’d probably still be alive? Do I ever say it’s your fault I got no family?”

Willie broke position to clutch at Leo’s knee, crying and shaking his head. Leo leaned over and kissed the back of his head. He rubbed Willie’s back. “Shhh, now. Stop crying. I’m serious, stop crying.” Willie gulped in air. “Good boy. I don’t say those things cuz they’re not true. I went to jail cuz I stole cars. You didn’t hold a gun to my head. I decided to do it for the money, and I got caught, and I went to jail. My mother could have asked for help to pay for her prescriptions, but she wouldn’t, it was her choice. People would have helped her if she’d asked. My aunt could choose to be more forgiving of us, but she won’t. I chose you over them all by myself. I knew what I was doing. It was a good decision. So none of that is your fault.” He pushed Willie gently off his leg. “Back into position now, baby. Come on. Face forward. Good boy. Now you listen to me. It’s not my fault you went to jail. I only testified after I had no choices left. People were tryna kill me. You framed me. I didn’t do it to hurt you. I did it to save myself. You didn’t go to jail cuz of what I said. You went to jail cuz you killed Erica and the stationmaster. You woulda got a suspended sentence except for the killing.” He got a kleenex and wiped Willie’s face for him, petting him gently. “I know you didn’t mean to kill Erica. I know it was a accident. But you shouldn’t have been fightin’ with her anyway. She was a girl, and you shouldn’ta felt like you could hit her, but you did and it got outta hand. That’s why you ended up in jail, Willie. Not cuz of me. Do you understand?” Willie nodded. “Say you understand.”

“I understand. It wasn’t your fault,” Willie croaked. “It was my fault.”

“OK.” Leo kissed his forehead. “It’s OK. You already paid for it all, Willie. You’re all forgiven. That’s all old history now.”

“It doesn’t feel old!”

“No? Why not?”

“Cuz it’s in my head.”

“Why is it in your head, Will?”

“Cuz it happened. I remember it.”

“Cuz you dwell on it.”

“No I don’t.”

“OK. Let’s be logical. Remember Mr. Skane’s math class in 11th grade?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you remember about it?”

There was a silence. “Were you in it?”

“Yes I was. What else?”

“He was ugly.”

“OK. Do you remember how to do quadratic equations?”

“No.”

“But you got an A in math. You were there. It happened. It’s in your head.”

“But I forgot it.”

“Well, forget the bad stuff.”

“How?”

“Think about new things. Think about other stuff. Stop reliving it.”

Willie frowned. “How can I?”

“You just remind yourself it’s got nothing to do with your life now.”

“But it does.”

“How does it?”

There was a longer silence than before. Leo waited patiently. Finally Willie whispered, “Cuz I still do gay things.”

Leo took a deep breath. “I’m gonna make you an offer, baby. It’s OK to say yes. You say just how you feel, OK?” Willie nodded. Leo dug his fingernails into his palms. “Maybe, even though you love me, you’re not really gay. Maybe you just do the gay things for me, out of love. I want you to know, you don’t have to do them. We don’t have to have sex, Willie. You can stay with me, I’ll still love you, we can be real good friends and not have sex. Would you like that?”

“I like sex!”

“Well, you could still have sex. With girls. You could have a girlfriend. Or a wife. You and me would be friends. Like we used to be.”

“Did I make you miss girls by dressing up?”

“Willie, honey, don’t question the question. Answer it. Do you want us to just be friends again?”

“No.” Willie’s voice was quiet. “I want us to have sex.”

“OK. Take a break. Sit on the bed. I’m getting us some ginger ale. Wait right there.”

Leo waited until he was in the kitchen to gasp in relief. This whole thing was upsetting him more than he’d expected. The idea that Willie was going through life with him thinking about prison rapes was horrifying. He heard nose blowing as he walked back down the hall, and Willie hid a tissue in his robe pocket as he entered the room. Right, cuz he’d told him to stop crying. Leo sat down next to Willie and held out his glass of ginger ale. Willie didn’t reach for it right away, so Leo put a straw in it and held it for him. Willie liked when he did that. Leo put his own glass down and took turns sipping out of the straw with Willie. He rubbed his back lightly and whispered, “I’m glad you picked sex.”

“Me too,” Willie whispered back. He almost smiled. 

“I was scared.”

“I know.” A corner of Willie’s mouth twitched up, quickly.

Leo kissed his shoulder, and then put the ginger ale on the nightstand and rubbed Willie’s knees. “Alright, back down on the floor. More talking.”

“Si, papi.” 

“Why did you dress up like a girl?”

“For Halloween.”

“Why did you try to fool me?”

“I said that, ok? But I knew you would know me.”

“But why did you want to do it?”

“To show you.”

“Show me what?”

“So you would see me.”

“What does that mean? I see you all the time.”

“No you don’t. You’re busy with work and school and shit.”

Leo raised his eyebrows. That was starting to sound a little argumentative. “Shit? My work and studies are shit?”

“No! I didn’t say that, sir.”

“I didn’t put you down there on your knees for you to get bratty.”

“No, sir.”

“Spread your knees more. Put your shoulders back.” Willie shifted on the rug, blushing. Leo unknotted Willie’s bathrobe and let it fall open. “Why did you shave your body hair?”

“I didn’t shave it. I naired it.”

“OK. Why did you remove your body hair?”

“For my costume.”

“Your costume only showed your legs.”

“I thought you would take my costume off me, papi.”

“Do you like how it feels to be bare like that?” Willie shrugged. “Use words please.”

“It’s interesting.”

“Do you recommend it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Should I do it?”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Well, if you want to.”

“Well, of course, if I want to. But why no?”

“I like your hair.”

“OK. I like your hair too. But this is OK if you like it. I don’t think it makes you more girly. I don’t think it does anything for your costume one way or the other.”

“It does! My legs especially.”

“You had tights on.”

“But what if I didn’t?”

“You mean, what if you were wearing women’s clothes some other time, and they showed more of your body than that nurse uniform?”

“I guess.”

“Do you think you’ll be doing more crossdressing?”

“I don’t know. You liked it.”

“That’s not the point. The point is, did you like it?”

“Some of it.”

“What did you like?”

Willie bit his lip, but Leo waited him out. Finally Willie said, “You treated me really nice.”

“I always treat you pretty nice.”

“More special,” Willie whispered.

Leo stroked his cheek. “Honey, you’re always special to me. Always.” He pushed Willie’s hair behind his ears. “Do you mean I was more demonstrative?”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“I made more public displays of affection? I fussed in front of other people?”

Willie nodded. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “If I woulda asked you to fuck me in Pat’s bathroom in my own clothes, you woulda said to wait till we got home.”

Leo rubbed Willie’s chest gently. “You make a good point, sweetie. I see what you mean. You were incredibly hot in that nurse outfit, I gotta say. I was so turned on that you’d dress up for me and make a surprise for me.”

Willie smiled. “I’d do anything for you.”

Leo slid off the bed and pulled Willie into his arms. “Would ya?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me how crossdressing reminded you of prison.”

Willie felt tense in his arms. He turned his face away. “He liked me to be a girl.”

Leo patted him reassuringly. “How did you feel about it?”

Willie sighed. “I was embarrassed. But it made him nicer to me.”

They breathed for a minute. “Did you need me to be nicer to you, honey?”

“No. It was just for Halloween, to surprise you. But then you were nicer.”

“Cuz I was all over you?”

“In front of everybody.”

“And you weren’t embarrassed?”

“No! Everyone was jealous of me.”

Leo snorted. “So what went wrong?”

“I felt weird later, and thought about how you were both nicer.”

“So then if we were the same maybe you were the same too?”

“Yeah.” Willie relaxed against him a little. “And then I got mad.”

“OK. Well, listen. When you say he was nicer, what do you mean?”

Willie swallowed hard. “He was more careful not to hurt me. And he kept me for himself.”

Leo’s stomach turned over and he hugged Willie tightly. “I hate him. OK, when you say I was nicer, what do you mean?”

“I told you. You were more, what you said, responsive?”

“Demonstrative?”

“Yeah.”

“I snuggled you more and kissed you more right out in public.”

“Yeah. And fucked me in the bathroom.”

“You liked that, huh?” Leo kissed his neck. “What else?”

“You looked mushy at me.”

“Like this?” Leo looked at Willie’s beautiful, perfect face. 

Willie blushed. “Yeah.”

“You were pretty mushy too, y’know. You were all like this.” Leo licked his lips and batted his eyelashes at cartoon speeds. Willie giggled. Leo kissed his forehead. “OK. So did we both really act the same way?”

Willie shook his head. “No, you’re totally different.”

“That’s right. And so are you. You had different reasons; we had different reactions; it’s totally different.”

“OK.”

“Do you agree?”

“Si, papi.”

Leo wasn’t totally sure Willie did agree, but at least he looked calmer and more grounded. “What did the shrink say to you about all this?”

“She didn’t say anything cuz I didn’t tell her about it.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Nothing. We were just quiet.”

Leo sighed. “Is she a big waste of money, Willie?”

“No. She helps. A little.”

“OK.” He kissed Willie’s nose. “It’s time for your punishment now.”

“Yes, sir.” 

“Take your robe off and get back on the bed. Lie face down like you were before.” Willie complied, shivering a little, though the room felt warm to Leo. Leo rubbed his back. “Are you cold, sweetheart?”

“No, sir.” Willie sniffled. 

Leo wanted to lie down next to him. What was this spanking even for? For having bad flashbacks? He shook his head and tried to get a grip. It was mostly to reassure Willie that he was looked after. Leo cleared his throat and rubbed Willie’s sweet behind. “Alright. Why do you get a spanking?”

“Cuz I was mean and blamed you and hurt your feelings.”

“That’s right. What will you do in the future?”

“Not blame you?”

“Share your problem, honey. You’ll share your problem.”

“OK.” Willie’s voice was rough with anxiety. 

Leo realized he should just get it over with. He started smacking Willie’s butt, moving his hand all over its surface, letting his fingers sting a little. He watched on the nightstand alarm clock and spanked quickly for a solid minute. Willie didn’t move, even though his butt got a little pink. When the minute was over, Leo stopped spanking and went back to rubbing. Willie squirmed a little. Leo pushed on his hip. “Roll over, baby.”

Willie whimpered but he turned over, revealing a scrunched up face and a solid erection. His dick looked longer without its bush of hair. Leo smiled and moved to lie between Willie’s legs. “Punishment’s all over,” he said, and took Willie into his mouth.

 

 

When Willie opened his eyes, Leo’s head was on his chest. Willie wrapped his arms and legs around Leo and curled and uncurled his toes. He felt so good. That’s another way it was different from jail. Diego never blew him, never ever, Diego didn’t even like to touch his dick. Leo did though. Leo was so cuddly and handsome and good. Perfect Leo twisted his head and blinked up at him, smiling a little. Willie smiled back. Leo kissed his chest. “Did I spank you too hard?”

“Yes,” Willie giggled. “Oh god, the pain.”

Leo scratched his rough chin over Willie’s smooth skin. “Let that be a lesson to you,” he growled. He snickered at Willie’s squirming, then propped himself up on his elbows. “We got any of those cupcakes left?”


End file.
